Showing posts from June, 2010

The Pinnacle of Weirdness

Wow, the pinnacle of weirdness. I've finally reached it. I just finished reading a story titled "Pornucopia" by Piers Anthony. I'm a decent PA fan and like to read his stories that are more on the science fiction edge. Let me see if I can give a brief synopsis without exceeding the limits of decency. In this story, a man is on the beach, sometime in the future, when he is approached (in daylight) by a Succubus. The Succubus soon discovers a stenchy cheese-like substance produced by the man's uncircumcised, and unwashed phallus. She also discovers this substance to have some "medicinal" properties. Soon after, the man is introduced to some kind of demon doctor who steals his penis for her scientific research. This sets the man off on a quest to get his member back. He is, of course, fitted with a prosthetic by the doctor's twin sister. He spends the next one hundred pages or so duelling demons to the death through fornication until he finds what

My First

Aah, rejection . Such bittersweet sorrow. Yes folks, I've made my first actual submission for paid publication ever. And now, I can say I've gotten my very first rejection. I am encouraged because I was able to achieve rejection in the form of a personal letter on my first try. My submission was for a speculative fiction piece. At only 739 words, it is considered flash fiction. Of course, I continue to work on longer projects but my creativity stretches the bounds of genre. I am currently working on a project in the mystery/crime/amateur sleuth, science fiction, and paranormal crime erotic romance genres. Here's what the editor wrote to me: I'm not going to buy this story, but I wanted to write to encourage you that it has promise. You'd be surprised at how infrequently we get stories that try to say anything, that have any real emotional and moral reality. And I'm not saying -- be sure you don't mistake me -- that the way to move forward is to wri

E-Reader Mania

Sorry for the scarce posts folks. I received a Nook e-reader for Father's Day and am happily engrosed in e-book reading nirvana now. All I can say is: so far, I love it. I know this is an extremely short post, but I've got reading to get back to!

Daleville Dan - Southern Discovery

Forensic archeologists recently discovered copper cables buried ten feet below the surface of the ground in upstate New York. They stated that the discovery led them to assume that New York had a complete, if not functional, telephonic communication system more than a hundred years ago. Daleville Dan folded his local newspaper and read on to the story, continued on page two. The story continued with a statement from the Ohio geological society on their discovery, just a week after the New York discovery. Geologists in Ohio dug to a depth of nearly twenty feet and discovered not only copper cabling, but wooden fragments believed to be telephone poles. They estimate Ohio may have established an electronic communication system up to two hundred years ago. "Dang, ain't that a hoot," Dan said to his friend, Bobby Joe. "Ah heck," Bobby Joe countered. "I'm sure Alabama must be more advanced than those folks." So, Daleville Dan pulled his shovel

Movie Theater, Television, or a Good Ol'e Book

I went to a movie theater this weekend to see the movie "Killers" with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. The movie was decent, cute, and full of great action and special effects. But, I'm not really posting a review here. I think it will turn out more like a rant. What disturbed me about the movie, or theater, or whatever, was that I was made to sit through commercials (for underarm deodorant, among other things) before watching the actual movie. Hey, I don't mind the little slide show for local businesses or movie trivia on the screen before the movie begins. I don't even mind sitting through twenty minutes of previews for upcoming movies. But, I can't help but wonder, if I wanted to see commercials, couldn't I just have stayed home and watched television and saved myself thirty bucks? I'm just a little disappointed that, after paying a bunch of money to see something I consider special, I'm made to sit and watch commercials as if I was

Dancing with Myself

Sometimes I talk to myself. But, don't we all? I remember a time long ago when I was much younger. I was at a nightclub in Williamsburg , Virginia. The nightclub was located in, or rather, under a hotel. Willamsburg has a college so, of course, the club was frequented by the local college students. I was not a college student. I was already in the military and doing some special operations training in the local area. I was like a wolf, let loose in the hen house. But, I digress. Let me get back to the story. This club, being the local college hangout, had all kinds of nighttime activities. The night I was there, they were having, among other things, a "dancing with myself" contest. Did I mention that I was young and single during this time? Of course, Billy idol was very popular at the time and his music got lots of airplay. I knew the song well and, although I will never admit it out loud, I may, or may not have danced to the song by myself more than once. I w

Water Works

My Grandson is at that age where he is learning how to use a potty like a big boy. Unfortunely, the only example he has on how to pee standing up is me. I'm very fortunate to have spend years in the military aviation field where we had numerous unannounced urinalysis testing. I can now pee on request - a great talent with limited application. Even so, I find it extremely difficult to pee on request while standing next to a small child who is about waist high to me and is curious about EVERYTHING. It is a constant battle of wits and maneuvering - a constant ebb and flow, a start and stop of the action, if you know what I mean. It seems, we are standing there for a long time before my grandson finally gets the inclination to let it go. And when he finally does, let it go, I feel like I'm standing next to the Banzai wigglin waterpillar. Maybe if I put some cheerios into the bowl. that might be fun for me too.

Coming Clean

Sounds like a great title for a romance or erotic romance. But, really, I'm going to tell you where I lied in my post of truths and lie a couple days ago. Some of you guessed correctly. 1.) I once drove my car into a lake while trying to impress a date. This is true. I was in high school and mad at one girlfriend for one reason or another, so I decided to take another girl out and drive right past the first girl's house. I chose to drive to a cement boat ramp that extended into Kitsap Lake. It was a beautiful spot because, at night, when the air cooled, a fog would build on the lake. If one parked far enough onto the boat ramp (this usually meant the front wheels of the car had to be in the water) the fog would roll up over the car, covering it, and hiding the activities that may or may not be going on inside. Needless to say, it was dark and I was trying to be cool, so I turned my lights off and allowed my car to roll onto the boat ramp. Unfortunately, the large rectang

Helen Thomas - Retirement Bound

I know what some of you are thinking. Who, exactly is Helen Thomas? She is a senior member of the White House Press recently [retired] after making some rather unscrupulous remarks about what the Jews in Israel should do. Those who already know who she is are probably thinking, good riddance . I do know this much; Helen Thomas has been in the White House Press since the Kennedy administration. A few years back, I met her personally while on a military related mission. My organization spent a good month flying back and forth between France, England, Luxembourg, The Netherlands, and even Amsterdam, Holland in support of the fiftieth anniversary of the Normandy invasion in WWII. The picture above was taken inside one of our helicopters at Point du Hoc , France, as we prepared for departure and flight across the English Channel and onto England. Yes, that is me sitting next to Helen. I know it's hard to tell since I had all that equipment on. Unfortunately, the American Presid

Destruction and Rebirth

I know, It seems like such a morbid post title. But really, it is only a parable I would like to express about the processes involved in writing. With the warmer weather and Summer nearly here, I've been doing my best to get out into the yard and clean up, beautify, and groom. I bought a lemon tree a few years ago and planted in its own little section in the grass of my yard. The constant rain in the summer and the extremely harsh winter last year finally took its toll on the poor little tree, and by this Spring, it was nothing more than a stubby little stick full of prickly stickers. The poor plant produced a total of two lemons in its, rather unproductive life. I decided to dig the little guy up and put it into the burn pile - returning life essence to the nether in a plume of smoke and fire. But, lo and behold, clinging to the mangled root ball, I saw little sprigs of green leaves and struggling root shoots. I cut those sprigs off the root ball and planted them in a contai

Awarded for ... Lying?

I've had the wonderful pleasure of being given a creative liar writer award by Clarissa Draper at Listen to the Voices . Thank you Clarissa for bestowing this honor upon me. For this award, I am asked to write seven stories. I've chosen to write six true stories and one lie. Can you pick out which one is the lie? 1.) I once drove my car into a lake while trying to impress a date. 2.) I've seen evidence of Bigfoot in the Olympic mountains of Washington State. 3.) One time, while serving in the military, I was in a flight of helicopters going to a field location when the helicopter in front of us disappeared in a fog bank. We later were told that the helicopter flew into the side of a mountain. I was then sent out to recover the crashed helicopter from a location that was so steep we had to rappel down the mountainside to get to it. 4.) I once lost my own son in New York City. We were all running to get on the train from Long Island into Manhattan. Everyone made

New Look

O k, I was reading a post on another blog about things that might make a reader not read a blog. Out of the few pet peeves the author of the post listed, I had violated every last one - black background, white letters, followers listed too far down. So, now I've changed to another template for my blog. What do you think? I hope that all will find this appealing. I know there are other templates out there that are certainly more appealing than those offered by blogger, but I like simplicity. Still having some issues figuring out how to make my linked pages such as home, about me, and contact me, stand out a little more. Shoot me some comments. Tell me what you think of the new layout.

The Elusive Muse

I t is truly amazing how inspiration strikes, sweeps through like a hurricane, then leaves just a quickly. I tend to be the kind of person that tries to jump onto that fast moving E-Train of inspirational muse and ride it out until I've squeezed every last drop of essence from it. Unfortunately, I struggle with those in-between times when the inspirational muse is nowhere to be found.  But it is this time when a productive writer gets the job done. I currently have a project where I rode the wave of inspiration through an outline and twenty-six thousand words into a first draft. But then my muse left me with a broken heart and five unfinished chapters. Sure, I keep busy by writing poetry, short stories, other projects, but it seems, as time slips by, I've found every excuse not to finish the project at hand. Now, I must fall back on some basic truths and rules to get back in the fight - so to speak. Here are some basic rules and concepts I follow that others might find u

Discovering Talent

It is not very often that I get excited about artwork. Although I enjoy looking at wonderful pictures and they sometimes provide me with inspiration, I've never been a great connoisseur of artwork. I've recently seen the burgeoning talent in someone that is quickly changing my mind and giving me a new respect for art. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce the world to a young artist I believe will do well in the future. I only hope that this article provides her the motivation to continue in her endeavor. I do not wish to embarrass, but her name is Hani Seo. She is a Korean college student living in Seoul South Korea. I first viewed her work on her facebook page, and now would like to try and convince her to sell some of her work. Hani creates drawings and paintings in her own style - some reminiscent of other famous artists. Let me introduce you to some of her work. This painting is my personal favorite. I named it: Sundial over Earth. The painting appears in

The Thinking Game

I've been researching a story idea for a few years now for a few years involving poisoning by toxic plant. Specifically, Spotted Water Hemlock, not to be confused with the hemlock that killed Socrates. My research has led me to learn all kinds of things about Spotted Water Hemlock. For instance, Spotted Water Hemlock is one of the most toxic plants in the United States, and grows wild in almost all climates in moist areas. It is commonly mistaken for wild carrots or parsnips. I even find myself wanting to go looking for the plant growing in the local area. In my story, parts of the plant are put into a juicer and then used to spike the drink of the unsuspecting victim. I've actually thought about trying to produce this oil for real in a juicer, but am thinking it may be just a little too dangerous. I'm sure that I'm already on some government watch-list for all my Internet research on the plant. The point that I am trying to make here is that all this research, and