True Life and Fiction

Well, you know the rest. It seems Spring has Sprung! I'm certainly ready for some warmer weather. I'm still waiting for that last push of cold we always seem to get right before Summer hits (we don't really have a spring here) but the weeds, and bushes, and postapocalyptic wasteland of my back yard are not waiting around for the official announcement of Spring. Spent the last weekend cleaning and weeding, but would hardly notice the difference. The one difference I've noticed is that my body hurts in places I've never felt before, and I realize that yardwork is not the healthy and relaxing chore I was to believe. I'd like to find the person who propagated that myth and ... well, you know. Now that I've worn myself down I can get back to some writing.

Well folks, I know that I am Yankee by birth, but since I will probably live in the South for the rest of my life, I must adapt. I do believe that I am making progress in the department of "Redneckification," and today for the first time, I saw some of that progress. As some of you may already know, this time of year is hurricane and tornado season in the South. Today, I was out and about taking care of some business when the tornado sirens began wailing. We all made our way to the center of the building and took up positions along a long cement-walled corrider on the first floor. We spent about an hour waiting, while notifications of tornado touchdowns in the local area were broadcast through the loudspeaker system. Of course, I thought of my two grandchildren and wondered if they were doing okay, if they were scared, or if the daycare they go to was taking proper care of them. But I thought of two other things that truly show (progress?) toward my ultimate redneckificat...

What's the difference between a rant and just plain bitching? I've studied this much (most because I get accused of the later while trying the former. I suppose it's all about attitude. My hero in the ranting department is Clark W. Griswold. Yes, I know he's a fictional character but I've yet to find anyone capable of ranting, or bitching like he does in the movie "Christmas Vacation" Clark Griswold Goes Off! If anyone knows of a better rant, please post a response here. Until then, Clark, you da' man.