Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Ballad of Daleville Dan

Just thought I would post my latest in a long series of rants about all the stray cats running through my neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, I normally like cats, but these particular cats seem to have chosen my front yard for their community gathering, shitting, territory marking, and fornicating place.

This little dity came to me after my dog ran off chasing a cat the other day.  It was innocent, really. My grandson was at the house and wanted to go outside. He opened the door, and my dog spotting a cat in the front yard, so he quickly tore past my grandson, out the door, and after the cat.

Well, we all know by now, my city "aint got no ordnance 'gainst cats." (a direct quote from our local police station) but they sure got one for unleashed dogs. Did I mention my dog was not wearing a leash? So, here goes. This is a poem, or song, of sorts, sang to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme song.

This here's a story 'bout Daleville Dan
And how one day, he got thrown into the can
from his dog gettin' lose, and doin' what he should
to the feline nemisis throughout the neighborhood.

Cats, that is. Felis Catus. Los Gatos.

Well, the next thing you know, the po' po's at the door
and Daleville Dan said, "What you here for?"
The cop said, "Got no ordnance for the cats don't ya' see
but we got one for dogs, so you're comin' with me."

Jail, that is. The Bighouse. Calaboose.

When he got sprung from jail, his dog had made it home
sittin' on the porch, and chewin' on a bone.
He surveyed his yard and said, "Isn't this swell?"
Dead cats all in the yard, and the dog has eaten well.

Cats, that is. Felis Catus. Los Gatos.

Gotta love Daleville Dan!