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Showing posts from 2011

Writing Space

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I'm so pleased to announce that, for Christmas this year, my wife made me a writing office. I'm so excited that I just have to tell everyone about it here on my blog.

This first picture shows the office from the entrance. Of course, the office was made from a bedroom in our house, left vacant by one of our, now grown-up kids. We repainted the walls, put up new curtains. My wife bought me a new desk, chair, and book shelf.


I know the office seems a little sparse right now, but just give me six months and it will be cluttered full of notes like all writer's offices should be. I'm really liking the office so far. Just yesterday, I woke up early and pounded out a couple hundred words before the coffee finished brewing.

The second picture shows the office as seen from the far wall (with the window) looking back toward the door. Barely visible on the right side, is one of my guitars. Now I can pluck away in peace while conjuring up inspiration for a current story.


The only t…

'Tis The Season

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No doubt, the Christmas season is upon us. We may not have snow, or even cold weather, down here in the Deep South, but what we do have more than makes up for those old yule icons of yor.

Those Northerners must be thinking, "how does anyone know its Christmas time in the South if there's no snow, and it's 78 degrees?"

One word: Cars.

Yes, cars! Now we can all be assured Christmas is near when the highways and byways of our bustling little burbs become flooded with cars sporting fake fluffy antlers, and even big red balls, affixed by any means available to door frames and front grills.

Gone are the days where respectable Southerners declare their allegiance to their college of choice (either Alabama or Auburn, doesn't matter which one) through colorful flags, hanging on for dear life with tiny plastic stands wedged into car windows; tiger tails hanging out of trunks.

Maybe, just for this special season, these icons of allegiance are replaced with sway-back antler…

What The Bleep

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 Hey, don't laugh, maybe they ran out of 'G's. Besides they would not have had enough space to put the letter in there anyway. Just live with it. Shut up and eat your anus wrap.

You know, it couldn't be any worse then when KFC tried to cash in during the 2008 elections by offering the "Hillary" special.

It came in a special blue box and contained two small breasts, two big fat thighs, and a left wing. It sold for $7.25, but if you gave them a ten spot, they'd give you back hope and change! What a bargain.

Okay, I'm not making any kind of political statement here. Just trying to be funny, so put away your knives.

Happy December everyone. I don't know, can we still legally say Christmas?

Turkey and Pumpkin...Chunkin

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I'm posting this early as I don't expect to be anywhere near a computer or keyboard on Thanksgiving day. That would require washing the grease off my fingers, and you know a won't have time for that. After all, I don't wanna be lickin' my fingers, and get the taste of soap in my mouth to spoil all the gastronomic goodness having a party in my belly.



Yeah, that's right. I plan on eating at least some of my Thanksgiving meal with my fingers. I'm not doing it because I'm a slob, or anything. I'm merely trying to give myself, and others, the most authentic Thanksgiving experience possible.
Yes, it's true. Did you know that, for the the first Thanksgiving feast in the year 1621, the Pilgrims did not have forks? They used knives, spoons, and their hands to gobble up that turkey. And, by the way, turkey was one of the few items they had back then that we still eat today. Back then they had no pumpkin pie, gelatinous cranberry substance from a can, not ev…

Wandering Aimlessly

When I was young, no more than thirteen or fourteen, I was lost in the Olympic Mountains. My father and I were hunting (probably for Elk) and he'd sent me up and over a ridge line in hopes of driving the animals down the other side of the mountain, where he was driving his truck along the old dirt roads.

Problem was, at that age (I think I've mentioned this before) I actually thought I was Grizzly Adams, and the mountains were my home. Well, I found out quickly that, like Grizzly Adams when he first sought the safety of the wilderness after being accused of a crime he did not commit, I was quite the greenhorn.

I walked up the ridge line thinking I would eventually reach the summit, and then simply walk down the other side until I met up with the road my father was driving on. Like I said, I was a young teenager, and unaware that a ridge line, does not a mountain make. The ridge went on, it seemed, forever, and I just continued to wander aimlessly along its crest. Before long, …

Veteran's Day

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I know that I normally post about writing, or try to keep my posts light and whimsical, funny, and satirical on this blog, but today is special.

I want to take this opportunity to thank those who served our country in a way that nobody else can. The majority of those who serve do not come from wealth, they are not paid like senators or congress persons. They do not have the opportunity to give themselves pay raises or extended benefits but must struggle to live on the pay and benefits bestowed on them by those who, in most cases, have not served.

I want, more than anything, for America to understand that our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines, have the same beliefs and desires as other Americans. Only, they must remain silent and vigilant, in order to preserve the right of others to voice their opinions. A young man or woman deciding to serve should not be seen as some lack of humanity in their souls. On the contrary, they who serve have a deeper soul then most; and it must be dee…

Becoming a Writer

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How does one become a writer? There are a multitude of books on the subject out there, and I've read many of them. I've read books on manuscript formatting, character development, plot, dialogue, marketing, and just about everything else related to writing and selling one's literary work.

But, many will tell you that the best advice is often the simplest.

And the best advice I've heard in some time is, once again, found in a one dollar book from the good ole' dollar tree store.
This book simply says, "If you want to be a writer, you must write."
I've heard that advice more times than I care to remember, but this book, Write is a Verb by Bill O'Hanlon goes a step further in giving options for getting the butt onto the chair and hashing out the words. The advice given in this book goes into the psychological aspects of making yourself get it done.
It figures though, since the author is a licensed psycho-therapist. So, if you have the chance, check out y…

Never Trust a Writer

I just attended a local writer’s group meeting last night, so I’m filled up with ideas and motivation. Of course, I’ll run out of that by tomorrow evening.

For those of you who write, you know how hard it really is. After all, it takes a certain amount of talent to create a lie, then convince others it is the truth, at least until the end of the story.

Writers often draw upon what they see, feel, smell, or experience in the real world in order to make the world in their mind more believable.

I write about Werewolves, Demons, Elves, and Faeries under a pen name, but I want all of my stories to be as believable I possible. My beloved character, Kat McKendry (my mystery crime series yet to be written) just lost her job as a model. In the real world, she wouldn't be caught dead out in the wilderness, picking a lock and breaking into a cabin in the middle of the night. It is my job as a writer to give her the tools to accomplish the task, no matter how far-fetched it seems at first. My…

All Hallo's Saint's Day Eve

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Happy Halloween everyone.

That being said, ever wonder why we wish others a 'happy' Halloween? Halloween, although nothing like we see today originated along with ancient religions and belief systems. Pagans celebrated Halloween as a day where the dead walked among the living.

The concept of wearing scary costumes came from a need to scare away evil spirits, not other trick or treaters.

I find it amazing that Halloween did not become the fun-filled night of debaucherous deities until Americans got hold of it, and twisted age-old traditions into a party.

Well ... that's not entirely true. The act of giving candy actually came out of attempts to end the Halloween event by the Catholic Church. Yes folks, All Saints day was an invention by the church to pull those nasty pagans away from their October 31st ritual. It is no surprise that All Saints day is on November first.

The original act of giving was for those living to give gifts to their dead ancestors.

I could go on fore…

A Teary-Eyed Goodbye

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Yes folks, it is with much regret that I inform you that I've left the last bastion of my childish ways behind. What does this mean, you ask?

No, I'm not quitting my blog. That's one bastion of childishness I'll never leave behind. I mean, come on, a man has to have some form of childish release, right?

Sadly, I've given up my gas-guzzling, overpowered, statement of male over-compensation truck, for a more sensible vehicle.
Some of you might remember way back when I posted about my truck (okay, I just looked, and never posted about it here). It was a beautiful beast, with over five hundred horsepower viper motor, twenty-two inch aluminum alloy rims wrapped in big fat pirelli scorpion rubber, and a wing in the back to hold the back end down at high speeds.
I've now moved on to the more sensible, if not as fast, Chevrolet Impala. I bought the 2005 base model. I must say, the ride is luxurious and I've gone from less that fourteen miles per gallon using premium t…

Ants and Birds

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I know most of you must be thinking to yourself, "what the heck was that title all about?" But, I assure you, I"m going somewhere with this.

My son recently returned from overseas and spent some time at home before going to his new duty assignment. Of course, no trip home would be complete without buying some new clothes. My son picked out a new shirt in about five minutes, and was done. I looked, halfheartedly, then declared I didn't see anything I liked. My wife loaded up on numerous 'potential' outfits, and went to the dressing room to try them on.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I've had to return clothes before because I did not try them on, but somehow, I still never learn.

Anyway, while waiting, my son breaks out his new Apple phone and hands it to me. On his phone was a simple little video game called "Angry Birds." It looked rather stupid but I thought I would give it a try as I had some time to kill. Withing five minut…

Occupy This

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It is not often I feel so strongly about something that I am willing to stick my neck out there. Especially, when I live in an area so highly populated with others having an ax to grind.

For nearly the last month, we've all watched the coverage of the Occupy Wall Street protests on the news, on twitter, and all the social networking sites. Many people have taken sides on the issue, and it appears, battle lines are being drawn.


New Occupy (insert location here) protests have since sprung up in many major cities throughout our great United States.

But, what is this movement (or revolution, as some see it) all about?

The motto that those within this movement chose to adopt is: We are the 99%. What, exactly do these protesters mean by this? Basically, the top 1% of our nation's population accounts for 22.8% of earned income wages for the entire nation. The other 99% account for the other 78% of wages earned.

This is where I begin to rant.

First off, this top 1% are those citizens…

A Change of Venue

My posts have been rather sketchy lately. Some of you may even be wondering, "What the heck is going on with this guy?"

Truth is, I've had a slew of changes this year. Changes in health, relationships, work, and my own writing desires. Most of you know that I've written under a pen name for nearly the last year. Some of you may have been missing some of my other quirky writings in the areas of speculative fiction, crime and mystery, and even silly satire.

Although I will continue to write under my pen name, and one will still be able to find stories of paranormal fantasy, urban fantasy, and even some romantic suspense under that name, I will begin to limit the amount of pure erotica written. It is not some sudden moral enlightenment or religious realization that prompts this action; rather, it is simply a matter of time.

Time is the most precious of all commodities. I know I speak of time as a commodity, but that is simply a metaphor. Time cannot be bought, sold, or …

A New Law

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Ladies and gentleman, I can now officially say I live in a state known for something other than religious fanaticism, racism, an unnatural love for college football (even though they lack a professional football team) and, of course, being the birthplace of the civil rights movement. Yes folks, I live in Alabama, the state now known as having the toughest immigration law in the nation.

Now, I'm not one to take up sides or stir up controversy ... Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I'm going to take up sides and stir up controversy, that's what I do best! Although I will try to dilligently cover both sides of the story in my pontification.



First off, let me just come right out and say that I am in complete agreement with these new requirements the state put on illegal immigrants. Let me repeat that last part where I wrote illegal immigrants. That being said, if you're still here reading this, I would like to add that I'm not so sure I agree with the sudden implementation …

Daleville Dan’s Dental Dalliance

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Daleville Dan sat in his favorite chair, eating popped corn
When he heard something crack and became quite forlorn. A week or two later, in complete despair, he found himself sitting in a dental chair. And this is what happened …
Daleville Dan sat and made himself as comfortable as he could, under the circumstances, in the dental chair. Soon the dentist stepped into the small office and proceeded to check his cracked tooth. “Yep, you cracked it good,” the dentist said. “Let me give you a shot of Novocain so I can pull those pieces out and make you a fake tooth.” “Hell no,” Daleville Dan cried. “I hate needles.”
“Okay, the dentist replied. “How about we give you some gas then?”
“Oh no,” Dan pleaded. “I can’t have gas either. It makes me sick and out of sorts for days.”
At that last statement, the dentist stood back, rubbing his chin, and looking perplexed. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he smiled before leaving the room. A few moments later, the dentist returned with a glass of water in one…

I'm Baaackk!

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Yes, I'm back. I know I was at large for some time, but I was certain the zombie apocalypse was going to take place at the end of July. It's taken me this long to swallow my pride, return my shopping cart, and squeeze my trembling hand around a pen again. (Okay, so maybe it was more like, placing my fingers gingerly on the keyboard)
The summer went well, but too quickly, and now I fear Fall is firmly upon us. My son completed his tour overseas, and is likely arriving at his new duty assignment today. He's going to be stationed at El Paso, Texas. Good thing we've been watching lots of Dora the Explorer to brush up on our Spanish. I use to know a few more words, but I'm sure I would be of no help to my son, if the only Spanish I was able to teach him involved buying beer or starting a fight.

My daughter is back in college, and continuing on her path to become a psychologist/counselor. I can't imagine what prompted her to go into that particular line of work - our f…

Shopping Carts and The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

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 I know what your thinking. "What do shopping carts (or buggies, if your from the South) have to do with the coming Zombie apocalypse?" Others might be thinking, "What Zombie apocalypse?" My answer to this is: "What? have you been living under a rock? Come on, we all know it's on the way."
Okay. Enough of that. I don't want you to think I'm crazy. But, when the Zombie apocalypse does arrive, you'll realize I'm crazy like a fox because I'll be prepared with this valuable shopping cart survival knowledge.
First, a little history ...

The shopping cart had a very humble beginning way back in 1937. when Sylvan Goldman, owner of the Piggly Wiggly supermarket chain, was thinking of ways to get his customers to buy more groceries. He had an epiphany while looking at a folding wooden chair and, shazam, the first shopping cart was invented.
The shopping cart did not catch on right away. Women did not like it because it reminded them of a baby ca…

Author Interview: L.K. Watts

Today I would like to highlight a new author on the scene. Laura Watts is the author of the wonderful book: Confessions of a Backpacker: My Adventure Down Under. Laura wrote a kind of travelling memoir of her time living and working in Australia. It's a good read, funny, poignant, and even heart wrenching at times. Here's a few questions Laura answered so we can all get to know her a little better:

1. When did you realize you wanted to become a writer?
When my travelling days were over and I decided I wanted to write a book about my experiences. It was only as I began to write that I realised how much I actually enjoyed the process, and decided to write other books.2. Is this the only job you’ve had?
I wish it was! I’ve done quite a few things from working in a psychiatric ward to working in pubs. My favourite job other than this has been working in a library.3. Have other work experiences made you more determined to follow a writing career?
Definitely. There’s nothing quite so s…

Neglect and Retribution

I guess it has been some time since I last posted here, and for that I am sorry. As some of you know, I like to write (duh, it's listed on the blog title) and have been taking on some projects under my pen name. I gotta tell ya, it's hard to run two separate lives. In addition to my real life (this one) I maintain a twitter account, a facebook page, a profile on goodreads, and an email address under my pen name. Since I've been doing so much writing in the genre of my pen name lately, I've neglected my real life.

But hey, don't feel like you're the only person or thing I've neglected lately. My lawn has gotten so long that we are actually having lawnmowing business stop by the house to ask if we might need their services. I think my neighbors are beginning to wonder whether I'm growing grass or corn in my front yard. At least I know the same rule of growth would apply. You know, "Knee high by the fourth of July."

Anyway, Happy Fathers day to a…

Book Smart

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I find it amazing how some of the smartest people can exhibit almost no sense when it come to general knowledge. Maybe someone that becomes really book smart loses something in their education. I can certainly support that theory because I was feeling really smart when I graduated from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University with a bachelor degree in science. But after later graduating with an MBA, I somehow felt ... less smart.
My job entails training prospective helicopter pilots for the US Army. Specifically, I teach academic subjects about all the systems that make a helicopter fly. Recently, I had a student in one of our classes that had an engineering degree. Each new concept I would explain to the class (made up mostly of students that have very little scientific or physics background) but could not move on because my engineer student would ask numerous questions. While I do understand that some of the subjects covered are complex, I do explain them in a way I feel every student ca…

You Still Here?

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Me too. Well, it looks like we all made it through the rapture. Wait, isn't the idea of the rapture that you WANT to get swept up? The good thing is, Harold Camping is still here too, so we've got someone to blame.




I don't know though, he looks to me like he could go any day now.
Wait. Does this mean that we are all sinners? Have we all been left behind? I guess we'll never know. That is ... until 2012.
The terrible thing about this whole situation is that I believed in it just enough to put off mowing the yard yesterday, and I have to do it on a Sunday.  I'll probably do the same thing on December 21st, 2012 when our planet is believed to be crossing the galactic center of our universe and become subject to the forces of the black hole ejecta.



Okay, so maybe I'll go ahead and put on some sunscreen that day too - just in case.

Sicker 'n a Dog

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Sorry. Haven't posted in awhile. Been very busy, and then sicker than a dog the last few days.

Don't worry, I'll be back in gear soon.

Speaking of being sicker than a dog, ever wonder where that term came from? I've done a little research, and as far as I can tell, the term dates back at least as far as the seventeenth century when dogs were not fed Purina puppy chow as today, but table scraps (if any) that were left on a plate.

Therefore, dogs were a little like the modern day "Tom" or "Barn" cat, given a few morsels now and again but, more or less, left to fend for themselves.

As most of you know, dogs will eat just about anything. If they eat something that does not agree with them, say a sun dried and partially decomposed armadillo, they will first attempt to soothe their wretching intestines with some grass, and then proceed to come in your house (usually at dinner time) take a seat next to the person most likely to sneak them scraps at the ta…