Perfect Procrastination

Well friends, it has finally come to fruition, this weekend I'm on my first furlough for the year. Yes folks, while you were all pinned to the television watching IRS scandals, the country of Egypt disintegrating, and a court case that should have never made it to trial, your Department of the Army civilian employees are being furloughed due to a three percent reduction in the proposed annual increase to the government's budget.

I digress.

The point here is that, due to my furlough days all falling together to give me basically a five-day weekend, I have time to work on some projects around the home.

For years, my wife has been gently prodding me to take action on our garage that has turned into a Sanford and Son style storage facility with no real remaining function and basically a fire hazard allowing no path to safety if calamity should come upon us.

Of course, I've been procrastinating on this for as many years as her gentle prodding.

Well, this weekend, with all this extra time on my hands, the prodding has turned into something more like kicking. The ultimatum was given that I shall sequester myself into that garage until it is cleaned and organized. Now, I don't mind cleaning so much but organizing? I'd rather slide down a fifty-foot razor blade naked. I'd rather suck the snot out of a dog's nose till his face caves in. I'd rather ... well, you get the picture.

But I'm here to tell you, no one can pour more effort into procrastination than me. I mean, when am I supposed to write if I'm jailed in that garage picking up tools and refuse from my last hundred home projects?

Now, as much as I hate to do this, I must admit that I need the kick in the pants in order to get it done. The garage is now well on its way to brighter days. At the very least, a path has been cleared for emergency exit. I've even tested this path on my way outside to do anything else but clean the garage.

Since I've started cleaning the garage, in my avoidance and procrastination efforts, I've mowed the lawn, cleaned the pool, pulled weeds, finished rebuilding my newest typewriter, pulled weeds again, and any other job other than the garage.

It's amazing how much I can get done while procrastinating!


  1. Dear Mr. Procrastinator, keep up the good work. There's so much MORE for you to finish.

    The Management

  2. Sorry about the furlough, but I hope you manage to make a productive use of your time! Your garage sounds very much like ours. Hubby keeps claiming he wants to use it for... you know... a garage, but it's full.

  3. Yeah, I have to laugh at that. I get SO much done around the house when I'm avoiding working on my novel. I'm quite good at the procrastination stuff myself. :)


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