Forcing the Issue

Some time ago, I participated in a little exercise while attending a local writers group meeting. In this exercises, one must write about something for five minutes, and then read their works to the group.

In this particular exercise, our unofficial group leader dug a toothpick out of her purse and threw it on the table. She said, "Write about that for five minutes." So, our subject was a toothpick?

Well, what I'm about to show you will, unfortunately, reveal how my mind really works. I'm not talking about the things I write about on occasion, or the light, fluffy, flowery prose I spend hours manipulating and forming into something that doesn't look like the crap it truly is. No, I'm getting ready to expose you to the dark forbidding underbelly of my mind.

So here's what I came up with in five minutes:


No one could've imagined the results that led to the creation of Tommy, the toothless wonder, but it's all true. Tommy was remiss in his commitment to oral hygiene, and his meth habit was no help either. So, when he finished his chicken, and fished a toothpick out of the little container sitting on the tabletop, everyone stopped what they were doing to see just which of his two remaining teeth he would choose to pick. He jammed the toothpick between his lonely pair of bicuspids in the middle of his mouth, and gave it a good yank. Low and behold, both of his teeth flew out of his mouth, landing in the pitcher of iced tea...

That's all I got in five minutes, but you can surely see where this was going. I'm sorry you had to see this. No I'm not. No, really I am.

I'm telling you, some of my best works comes from pressured situations!


  1. I'm so hoping you wrote this at Shoney's. I can see those bug-eyed people looking at their plates and wondering "What the hell?" I know -it's just my Darth Vader showing.


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