Saturday, June 24, 2017

Have You Met the Purple Prosenator?



I know what you're thinking. What is a purple prosenator and why would anyone want one? Well my friends, the Purple Prosenator is a special vintage typewriter that I created for those times when I must resort to the use of purple prose to enhance the commercial success of certain writing projects.

First of all, you might be asking, what is purple prose? Well, I'm glad you asked. the term purple prose is believed to come from the poet Horace. He coined the term to reference a writing style that was, to say the least, verbose and over the top.

In those times, as it seems now, the color purple represented royalty, high societal standing, and maybe even a little bit of pompousness in ones character.  Of course not everyone was of such caliber so many desiring to be seen as such would sew patches of purple cloth into their clothing in an attempt to appear so.

Nowadays, the term has taken on a slightly different meaning specifically referencing some writing in the romance genre. Hey, don't knock it, many careers have been catapulted to lofty heights in this genre.


Most would admit that the picture above conjures up visions of lovers embracing; a strong alpha male sweeping up a fine damsel (usually in distress) as the sheer fabric of her blouse falls gently across her shoulder exposing her heaving bosom. Breathlessly she mewls, "take me." He gives no response but understands the full weight of her murmurings as he gazes intently upon her alabaster globes heaving to as if begging for his touch. She feels the heat of his labored breath upon her exposed fleshmounds, and her body responds intuitively with a shiver that penetrates to her nether core... 

You get the picture. Most readers in modern times associate purple prose with over-the-top explanations of feelings and flowery euphemisms for body parts. Believe it or not, there is evidence that readers like this purple prose as long as its use is very VERY limited. 

Okay, with details of the word out of the way, let's get back to the post. Yes, it is about my purple prose writing typewriter.

She started out as a Royal Senior Companion, serial number RS-3053420. born in 1955 and marketed for students. It was inexpensive but still very functional. Although the Royal Typewriter company left out many of the features commonly found on higher-priced models, they did not waiver on quality. I know she may seem rather long in the tooth by today's standards but she still functions nearly as well as she would've in her prime.


For the next fifty years, I remain unaware of her travels. I do not know of her trials and tribulations; what kind of people cared for her, or what kind of things she was responsible for instantly enacting into printed form.

I purchased her from the Goodwill store of Orange County, California in September of 2016 for $8.99. She was sent in a padded box and arrived at my home about two weeks later where she began her transformation.


The picture above shows what she looked like on the day of her arrival. She was in reasonably good shape for her age with just a few keys sticking and a couple of her type hammers bent. I removed the case from her frame sanded her down to bare metal before applying a base coat of purple and black. I will spare you the details of what she looked like with no coverings or paint. I mean, unless you're into typewriter porn.


Once this was complete, it was time for some flourishes and some bling! I gave her a nice lace pattern around her sides and then two coats of glitter with a couple layers of clear in between for that deep multilayered sparkle.




After what seemed endless applications of clear with wet sanding between each coat, she was ready to be put back together . 


If one wants to appear "royal" and over-the-top, then attention to detail is in order. This is why the Purple Prosenator also uses a purple ribbon. So, the prose created by this machine will truly be purple.