Friday, March 16, 2012

Directions by Patavinity

It is amazing how one can receive different directions by as many people and one might think to ask, for one place.

I'm not from the South but I am from the country. I don't know if this is a Southern thing or a country thing but I've seen it so much since I've lived in the South, it scares me.

Someone walked into my office today asking directions to a local restaurant. He was hit with a barrage of instructions; none of which would have sufficed to actually help him arrive at his requested destination. You see, this person was not from the South, he was from Southern California. After watching him struggle, and try to comprehend and repeat each set of instructions, I finally had to step in and give him the directions in his native tongue--West Coast.

I find it hilarious that some people attempt to help others find their way to a location by telling them of landmarks they should look for to tell them they've gone beyond the location they originally asked directions for. I don't know exactly how this is supposed to work, but myself, I don't want to know what I should be looking for should I drive right past where I want to go, I want to know how to get right to the location for which I originally asked directions.

Furthermore, I don't want to be given landmarks you saw when you drove down that road this morning. For instance, I don't care about the three-legged dog taking a piss under old man Johnson's mailbox. I'm pretty sure that dog won't be there when I drive by.

I find these kind of instruction funny. But don't take my word for it, I'm the guy that finds what I'm looking for by driving past, and making a U-turn.

I just felt like ranting. Stay tuned as next week I will continue with my series (okay, not really a series) on how to survive the coming zombie apocalypse. I would have posted on that subject this week, but I'm still shaken and depressed over the recent losses on my new favorite show on AMC, "The Walking Dead."