Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Daleville Dan’s Dental Dalliance

Daleville Dan sat in his favorite chair, eating popped corn

When he heard something crack and became quite forlorn.
A week or two later, in complete despair,
he found himself sitting in a dental chair.
And this is what happened …

Daleville Dan sat and made himself as comfortable as he could, under the circumstances, in the dental chair. Soon the dentist stepped into the small office and proceeded to check his cracked tooth.
“Yep, you cracked it good,” the dentist said. “Let me give you a shot of Novocain so I can pull those pieces out and make you a fake tooth.”
“Hell no,” Daleville Dan cried. “I hate needles.”
“Okay, the dentist replied. “How about we give you some gas then?”
“Oh no,” Dan pleaded. “I can’t have gas either. It makes me sick and out of sorts for days.”
At that last statement, the dentist stood back, rubbing his chin, and looking perplexed. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he smiled before leaving the room. A few moments later, the dentist returned with a glass of water in one hand and a blue pill in the other.
“Here. Take this pill,” the dentist said, shoving the glass of water and pill into Dan’s hands.
“What is this?” Dan asked.
“It’s Viagra,” the dentist said, his voice flat and hushed.
“Does Viagra work for pain?” Dan asked.
“No,” the dentist replied. “But it’ll give you something to hold on to while I file away your tooth.”
Just thought I would post this little story in celebration of my recent visit to the dentist’s office. You see, a month or so ago, I cracked my tooth while eating popcorn, and had to have a crown put in its place. This is the second tooth I’ve broken in so many years, while eating popcorn. What’s up with that?
I just know if I keep this up, I’m going to someday have my entire mouth full of fake porcelain caps. Maybe when I die, I can will them to my Grandchildren. I don’t think they’ll be worth much, but aren’t teeth a great way to remember someone?